Finding balance between spoiling and gratitude

I waited until the eve of my 30th birthday to give birth to my child. This wasn't always my intention. I pictured myself a young mommy, frolicking with my child with endless energy to match hers. Life doesn't always work out as planned. Now I am thankful to have had such time (and hopefully wisdom) under my belt before I became a mom - BUT - once she arrived all of my years of yearning for and dreaming of her culminated in a mommy who just CAN'T say NO!

Well, OK, that is a bit of an exaggeration. I can say, "No, honey, that is dangerous" and "No, sweetheart, you don't need more candy before bed." But when it comes to giving her all of my love, attention, time (all good for her) and buying her every new princess toy, book, kitchen accessory, cute clothes, shoes (maybe not always good)... I struggle to find balance between spoiling her and teaching her gratitude.

Your answer might be to say to stop buying for her. I've tried that. It's no fun - for me or for her. And while I have trimmed back I am trying more to show her how to be grateful and to truly enjoy all the gifts of her life.

A couple of the things we have done are to have her give a toy to toys for tots at Christmas and to take food to a food pantry. But this is not enough. So we talk about the things we have and how fortunate we are. We teach her about loving other people and giving gifts of words as well as material things. We talk to her about how hard people have to work and that we should be thankful for every meal, every minute together, every toy we have. We also talk of respect: respect for others, respect for our belongings, respect for ourselves. We talk about the connected-ness of all people and how our actions can affect others. We try to show her through our own treatment of each other (and others) what it means to live a life of love. But I am sure there is always room for improvement.

I'm doing my best. But that doesn't mean she never throws a tantrum in a store over a toy I won't buy. And it doesn't mean that I don't cave on occasion when I know I shouldn't buy her something new. We are a work in progress but maybe that is what parenting is about after all - learning with your child and growing together.

What do you do to show your child how to be thankful? What do you do to find balance between spoiling and gratitude?

Emily A. Filmore
blog.withmychildseries.com
http://www.withmychildseries.com/