Looking for the positives of your day

This week I had a mom (who by the way is a wonderful, caring, adventurous mom who works very hard every single day of her life!) say that she feels like she isn't always as great of a mom as she could be.  She says this, in part, because she has been reading my blog and thinks that since I am (mostly always) upbeat she must be doing something wrong because there are days she wants to tear her hair out. The last thing I want is to have someone go away from my blog feeling bad or inferior. I want this to be uplifting and inspiring....so I thought I should explain my philosophy and show how I remain upbeat.

I look at each day as an adventure. And whether the day is good or bad, I try to find a positive spin. Life is really short and I would rather be optimistic than get bogged down in what goes wrong.  Do I have terrible days when I feel I can't do anything right? YES! Do I have days when I question my sanity, parenting abilities, choices? YES!  But then I focus on the moments that went right and concentrate on letting those moments define my day. Everyone has rough days and no person, much less parent, is perfect.  But true happiness comes from overcoming the doldrums of that day and fighting your own inner demons to stay happy. I try to catch myself being the best I can be instead of looking for the things I do wrong.

How do I do this? For one thing, I look for the things for which I am thankful.  I start nearly everyday with a smile because I keep an ongoing list in my head of all of my blessings:

• My daughter is well-adjusted and healthy
• My husband is the sweetest man I know, loves us dearly and has a great job which affords us a nice lifestyle
• I am fortunate to have great friends and family whom I love and can count on
• I am grateful for the chance to be a mom
• I have had the pleasure of seeing a good portion of the world through travel
• I have the great fortune of observing great moms interact with their kids (including the one above)
• I am educated and have passion for what I do personally and professionally
• We have food on the table, a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, cars to drive, toys for play, books to read.

I also have my share of challenges but I chose to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. Some of the things I do to center myself when things aren't going well are:

• I look at my daughter and watch her explore her world, I consciously try to soak in her energy and vigor, I concentrate on looking at the world through her eyes.
• I live in the present - embracing the happy moments!
• I find peace and love in being outside in nature so I take walks or sit outside to destress.
• I read a book, listen to music, watch a favorite TV show, look at art, surf the web.
• I go over the above list in my head.
• I take deep breaths.
• Sometimes I CRY and then I let that cleansing prepare me for what is next.
• Sometimes I know things are not going well and I face that fact with acceptance and ask my higher power for help to make it better.

So you see, I don't have a perfect life. Every day in my life is not idyllic. But I do strive to make every day a beautiful day for my daughter as well as for myself.  I make a conscious choice to enjoy each day as it comes, accept it for what it brings me that day, and then try to move forward prepared for my next beautiful day.

Parenting is hard...Being a good human is hard...But it all actually gets easier once you start looking for reasons to smile and be thankful!

Wishing you more beautiful days!

Emily A. Filmore
blog.withmychildseries.com
http://www.withmychildseries.com/