Today, I had the wonderful opportunity to visit a local elementary school and share my books with children from Kindergarten through 3rd grade. In each class I read both books while the children listened and while, during the yoga book, the children participated in the poses. Many of the kids said they had experience with yoga through their parents, through ballet or gymnastics class, and my favorite, from the Wii!
It was so cute how eager the children were to learn about the books, the writing process, yoga, art and my life; children really are special to be around. I was amazed by the intelligent, thoughtful questions they asked.
I was also deeply gratified and humbled that they enjoyed my books. It was a truly beautiful day!
Emily A. Filmore
blog.withmychildseries.com
http://www.withmychildseries.com/
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Mom, we don't watch TV at dinner
We have tried to make our mealtimes family-time. Even when it is just Sage and me and even if we are only eating PBJ - we always sit at the table. We turn off TV and try not to answer phones. (Although I have one friend who must have radar and calls me just about every time I am about to sit down!) But we really are pretty consistent and successful with achieving this goal.
We use the time to talk and bond. We make up stories, play word games, tell jokes and eat our food. Usually we are able to tune out the world and be together. When daddy is home we use the time to catch him up on our week, Sage's activities and school as well as fun family talk time.
Last week, I was watching a show on TV while I cooked and Sage played. I was really interested in what was happening and, after running to umpteen different activities and errands all week I was tired and feeling tapped out. And, for one time, I just wanted to eat quietly and finish my show (even though I had it on DVR and could watch it later). As we sat down Sage said, in her best mommy voice, "Mommy, we don't watch TV at dinner!" With that she left the table turned off TV and said "You can watch it later."
I could barely contain my laughter as I humbly accepted her redirection and admonishment. I think even though we try hard to be consistent and fair, I saw that I can still fall into a thought process that I am the mommy so the rules don't apply to me. My little girl showed me that she listens to us and our "rules" and she also showed me her strength in standing up for what she thinks is right; but she also reminded me that I have a responsibility to abide by my own rules in order to lead by example.
Way to go Sage!
I don't think I'll make that mistake again...
Humbly,
Emily A. Filmore, Author
www.withmychildseries.com
blog.withmychildseries.com
We use the time to talk and bond. We make up stories, play word games, tell jokes and eat our food. Usually we are able to tune out the world and be together. When daddy is home we use the time to catch him up on our week, Sage's activities and school as well as fun family talk time.
Last week, I was watching a show on TV while I cooked and Sage played. I was really interested in what was happening and, after running to umpteen different activities and errands all week I was tired and feeling tapped out. And, for one time, I just wanted to eat quietly and finish my show (even though I had it on DVR and could watch it later). As we sat down Sage said, in her best mommy voice, "Mommy, we don't watch TV at dinner!" With that she left the table turned off TV and said "You can watch it later."
I could barely contain my laughter as I humbly accepted her redirection and admonishment. I think even though we try hard to be consistent and fair, I saw that I can still fall into a thought process that I am the mommy so the rules don't apply to me. My little girl showed me that she listens to us and our "rules" and she also showed me her strength in standing up for what she thinks is right; but she also reminded me that I have a responsibility to abide by my own rules in order to lead by example.
Way to go Sage!
I don't think I'll make that mistake again...
Humbly,
Emily A. Filmore, Author
www.withmychildseries.com
blog.withmychildseries.com
Thursday, September 16, 2010
It's a Beautiful Day to go Camping??? WHAT?
Anyone who knows me knows that I love nature! I love outdoor adventures, flowers, wind, animals and especially spending time in nature with Scott and Sage. However, I don't get along with creeping, crawling, biting insects and animals so I generally don't like to be in the wilderness at night. The exception is being outside looking at the stars on concrete or near a bonfire (which both help to scare away creeping, crawling biting things). The other thing is that I like a warm, soft BED under my head at night. I have never slept in a tent on the ground and highly doubt I ever will. Call me high maintenance, spoiled, a city-slicker...I don't care! I want comfort when I sleep and Scott won't sleep in a tent either so we are on the same page. Roughing it is just not within the scope of our plans - we like beautiful hikes, swims in lakes, walks in the desert but when it comes to nights...we like soft comfortable hotel room beds!
So when my adventure-loving daughter asked to go camping...my immediate answer was "ask Uncle Ryan and Aunt Christy-they love camping!" Well, Sage's idea was tent camping, but even the eagle scout and his wife gave up tent camping a few years ago when they bought a beautiful camper that has all the comforts of home. I was never worried about how a trip with them would go because we always have fun together, but I did wonder how my little "city-slicker" family would take to campsite life. :-)
Last weekend was the big trip for Scott's and his twin brother, Ryan's birthday celebration; Sage got her wish as we met in Eureka Springs, AR to visit Turpentine Creek Wildlife Refuge and stayed together in their camper. What a great experience! First of all, the camper is huge (by camper standards) and we all had room to sleep comfortably, room to put our stuff, and handle most of our necessities. Moreover, the generous canopy outside afforded us a nice sitting area for visiting and eating our meals. And of course there is the campfire which gave us lots of sitting and chatting time, stargazing time, and roasting marshmallow time.
Ryan and Christy were great hosts and my main job was to keep the kids occupied while they worked their magic, performing secret, camping set-up and take down rituals that seemed very mysterious and important! The truth is, this might be because they know I am a klutz and they didn't want me to break any equipment, but in any case I loved my part of the job! The girls, my mother-in-law and I went on a few walks around the compound listening to the animals, looking for birds, and hunting for rocks. AND playing ---- there was a lot of little girl screeching and laughing as they played their hearts out! I, of course, had to get the girls to say "Lions and Tigers and Bears, OH MY!" and sing their own versions of "If I were king of the forest!!!" But we really had fun on our little walks and playtime!
We had GREAT weather. Sunny and warm, but not too hot. We enjoyed our visits with the lions, tigers, monkeys, pumas, leopards, coyote (and more) and had a great time learning about them. We got to see them up closer than I would have ever imagined and it was awesome! They were bigger, more beautiful, more glorious, scarier, and more touching than I would have believed! What amazed me though, was just how much more I felt I got out of being in nature in those two short days without having a "house" or "cabin" to retreat to.
This was my (and Sage's too) first experience sleeping under a canvas/tent-like roof. We got to experience a beautiful rain gently tickling the roof over our bed, we got to hear the nighttime noises of the mountains and forest, the howling wind, the crickets, the lions carolling, the tigers roaring, and the coyote howling. The cool night air was so wonderful and refreshing. And Sage had lots of time to play in the campgrounds with her cousins - running around seemed to be the favorite pastime - the girls even converted a small raised picnic area into a stage for their very special music and dancing show. as always, I tried to stop and enjoy seeing things through my daughter's eyes, and as always the view from down there was spectacular! Her little eyes and mind took in every tree, questioned every animal, looked at every rock, waited to hear the songs in the wind! I love to see her enjoy life, and this weekend was no exception.
The mountain view from the campground was amazing! At every turn I was reminded that this experience would have been lacking so much if we had stayed in the lodge or bed and breakfast rooms. Thanks to my in-laws my daughter was able to enjoy a new experience that Scott and I would not have thought to give her! She learned so much about the animals and had so much fun playing in the clean, fresh air that I can now really, truly say I understand why "It's a Beautiful Day to go Camping!" As long as it is the camper kind of camping...
Thanks to Ryan and Christy for a really wonderful, special weekend experiencing nature in a new way!
Emily A. Filmore
blog.withmychildseries.com
http://www.withmychildseries.com/
So when my adventure-loving daughter asked to go camping...my immediate answer was "ask Uncle Ryan and Aunt Christy-they love camping!" Well, Sage's idea was tent camping, but even the eagle scout and his wife gave up tent camping a few years ago when they bought a beautiful camper that has all the comforts of home. I was never worried about how a trip with them would go because we always have fun together, but I did wonder how my little "city-slicker" family would take to campsite life. :-)
Last weekend was the big trip for Scott's and his twin brother, Ryan's birthday celebration; Sage got her wish as we met in Eureka Springs, AR to visit Turpentine Creek Wildlife Refuge and stayed together in their camper. What a great experience! First of all, the camper is huge (by camper standards) and we all had room to sleep comfortably, room to put our stuff, and handle most of our necessities. Moreover, the generous canopy outside afforded us a nice sitting area for visiting and eating our meals. And of course there is the campfire which gave us lots of sitting and chatting time, stargazing time, and roasting marshmallow time.
Ryan and Christy were great hosts and my main job was to keep the kids occupied while they worked their magic, performing secret, camping set-up and take down rituals that seemed very mysterious and important! The truth is, this might be because they know I am a klutz and they didn't want me to break any equipment, but in any case I loved my part of the job! The girls, my mother-in-law and I went on a few walks around the compound listening to the animals, looking for birds, and hunting for rocks. AND playing ---- there was a lot of little girl screeching and laughing as they played their hearts out! I, of course, had to get the girls to say "Lions and Tigers and Bears, OH MY!" and sing their own versions of "If I were king of the forest!!!" But we really had fun on our little walks and playtime!
We had GREAT weather. Sunny and warm, but not too hot. We enjoyed our visits with the lions, tigers, monkeys, pumas, leopards, coyote (and more) and had a great time learning about them. We got to see them up closer than I would have ever imagined and it was awesome! They were bigger, more beautiful, more glorious, scarier, and more touching than I would have believed! What amazed me though, was just how much more I felt I got out of being in nature in those two short days without having a "house" or "cabin" to retreat to.
This was my (and Sage's too) first experience sleeping under a canvas/tent-like roof. We got to experience a beautiful rain gently tickling the roof over our bed, we got to hear the nighttime noises of the mountains and forest, the howling wind, the crickets, the lions carolling, the tigers roaring, and the coyote howling. The cool night air was so wonderful and refreshing. And Sage had lots of time to play in the campgrounds with her cousins - running around seemed to be the favorite pastime - the girls even converted a small raised picnic area into a stage for their very special music and dancing show. as always, I tried to stop and enjoy seeing things through my daughter's eyes, and as always the view from down there was spectacular! Her little eyes and mind took in every tree, questioned every animal, looked at every rock, waited to hear the songs in the wind! I love to see her enjoy life, and this weekend was no exception.
The mountain view from the campground was amazing! At every turn I was reminded that this experience would have been lacking so much if we had stayed in the lodge or bed and breakfast rooms. Thanks to my in-laws my daughter was able to enjoy a new experience that Scott and I would not have thought to give her! She learned so much about the animals and had so much fun playing in the clean, fresh air that I can now really, truly say I understand why "It's a Beautiful Day to go Camping!" As long as it is the camper kind of camping...
Thanks to Ryan and Christy for a really wonderful, special weekend experiencing nature in a new way!
Emily A. Filmore
blog.withmychildseries.com
http://www.withmychildseries.com/
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Tantrums! GRRR..Is there no way around them?
As much as I try to give my daughter the tools she needs to express herself gracefully there are times that she gives up and says, "I'm in the mood to throw a tantrum!"
And, WOW, can she throw a tantrum. She has one of those loud piercing screams that sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard and she knows how to make the tears flow. Last weekend we were visiting outside with friends and something didn't go her way. In the grand scheme of things the incident was smaller than trivial, she wanted a different character than she had to play a game. In this situation, though, to her 4 year old, tired (my fault), one-track-mind, this was the end of the world.
She is usually very rational and we can talk through her upsets in a way that she doesn't get overly worked up; usually even seeing the better side of things. I tried every one of my normal tactics: I validated her feelings, I told her to count to three and breathe so she could calm down, I threatened her with going in the house for the night, I cajoled her, I made promises, I held her and I even walked away from her. NOTHING worked - she wasn't in the mood to listen, talk or do anything but wail.
These are the times when my ideals as a parent are truly tested and when I wonder where I have gone wrong. Have I spoiled her too much, let her get away with too many mini-tantrums because it seemed better to ride them out at the time? I am just enabling her bad manners? No, I just need to take a deep breath, count to three (myself), and think on my feet. On this particular night my husband, being much stronger and taller than I, scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the house to calm down. We instructed her to sit down and we left the room to give her time to collect herself.
She was quite worked up but was able to begin calming herself down at which time I reentered the room and sat holding her while she told me about her feelings, what went wrong, and what she wanted to do. We discussed a solution to her problem, I again validated her feelings, and we came up with a plan. Sometimes I feel like I am negotiating UN peacekeeping efforts!
Eventually she was able to calm down and rejoin her friends outside - finding herself, once again, enjoying her evening.
The next day we went to a park and when it was time to leave she handled it extremely well - smiling and laughing on the way to the car. (One of the things with which she has difficulty is transitioning from a fun activity/visit to that activity's end. She has a very hard time saying goodbye to loved ones, fun activities, or places.) Since I noticed that was being particularly good and happy I commented on how wonderful it was to see her smiling and enjoying the day even though we had to leave the park. She looked at me kind of strangely, like...and your point is??? "Well," I said, "I am really enjoying that you are more relaxed today and not getting upset when things go differently than you plan." I could see that I needed to be more direct, yet gentle: "I guess what I am trying to say is: do you see a difference between the tantrum you threw last night and how well you are handling leaving the park right now?" Her answer, "yes, I am not crying when I am upset" told me that she was on the right track. So I went on, "Well I think that it is much easier to take you to do fun things if I can trust that you won't get so upset when they are over. Thank you for acting like such a big girl today!" She seemed proud of herself and we didn't have any more incidents like it for the rest of the weekend...an eternity in kid years.
I hope that I made some small headway in showing her that she can express her feelings constructively without a tantrum. I think parenting is these little steps. We falter and make mistakes, but with pure and loving intentions we can find the right answer, we can make progress, we can grow closer to our children and....we can eventually grow out of these tantrums!!! Uh, we will eventually grow out of them, right???
Emily A. Filmore, Author
blog.withmychildseries.com
http://www.withmychildseries.com/
And, WOW, can she throw a tantrum. She has one of those loud piercing screams that sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard and she knows how to make the tears flow. Last weekend we were visiting outside with friends and something didn't go her way. In the grand scheme of things the incident was smaller than trivial, she wanted a different character than she had to play a game. In this situation, though, to her 4 year old, tired (my fault), one-track-mind, this was the end of the world.
She is usually very rational and we can talk through her upsets in a way that she doesn't get overly worked up; usually even seeing the better side of things. I tried every one of my normal tactics: I validated her feelings, I told her to count to three and breathe so she could calm down, I threatened her with going in the house for the night, I cajoled her, I made promises, I held her and I even walked away from her. NOTHING worked - she wasn't in the mood to listen, talk or do anything but wail.
These are the times when my ideals as a parent are truly tested and when I wonder where I have gone wrong. Have I spoiled her too much, let her get away with too many mini-tantrums because it seemed better to ride them out at the time? I am just enabling her bad manners? No, I just need to take a deep breath, count to three (myself), and think on my feet. On this particular night my husband, being much stronger and taller than I, scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the house to calm down. We instructed her to sit down and we left the room to give her time to collect herself.
She was quite worked up but was able to begin calming herself down at which time I reentered the room and sat holding her while she told me about her feelings, what went wrong, and what she wanted to do. We discussed a solution to her problem, I again validated her feelings, and we came up with a plan. Sometimes I feel like I am negotiating UN peacekeeping efforts!
Eventually she was able to calm down and rejoin her friends outside - finding herself, once again, enjoying her evening.
The next day we went to a park and when it was time to leave she handled it extremely well - smiling and laughing on the way to the car. (One of the things with which she has difficulty is transitioning from a fun activity/visit to that activity's end. She has a very hard time saying goodbye to loved ones, fun activities, or places.) Since I noticed that was being particularly good and happy I commented on how wonderful it was to see her smiling and enjoying the day even though we had to leave the park. She looked at me kind of strangely, like...and your point is??? "Well," I said, "I am really enjoying that you are more relaxed today and not getting upset when things go differently than you plan." I could see that I needed to be more direct, yet gentle: "I guess what I am trying to say is: do you see a difference between the tantrum you threw last night and how well you are handling leaving the park right now?" Her answer, "yes, I am not crying when I am upset" told me that she was on the right track. So I went on, "Well I think that it is much easier to take you to do fun things if I can trust that you won't get so upset when they are over. Thank you for acting like such a big girl today!" She seemed proud of herself and we didn't have any more incidents like it for the rest of the weekend...an eternity in kid years.
I hope that I made some small headway in showing her that she can express her feelings constructively without a tantrum. I think parenting is these little steps. We falter and make mistakes, but with pure and loving intentions we can find the right answer, we can make progress, we can grow closer to our children and....we can eventually grow out of these tantrums!!! Uh, we will eventually grow out of them, right???
Emily A. Filmore, Author
blog.withmychildseries.com
http://www.withmychildseries.com/
Friday, September 3, 2010
Kangaroo Care - A real story of parents saving their newborn baby's life!
What an amazing story! This is parenting at its best!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Ahh a child's imagination...
This week was my IVIG infusion which, as I think I've mentioned before, has side effects that leave me pretty useless for a few days. My village of loved ones (because we all know it takes a village to raise a child) pick up the slack during this tough week so that I can recover without affecting my daughter too much. Sage came home from my mom's today and my "other" mom came over to spend the day with us and watch her in case it was another bad day. It was, and I slept for the majority of the day.
After she left, Sage and I sat together on the couch and vegged out because that is about all I was capable of doing. A little while later she disappeared upstairs for a few minutes and came back with 2 Q-tips, a temporal thermometer, and a hand held mirror. "What are you doing?" I asked. She replied, "I'm going to make your headache go away."
Intrigued, I let her work her magic. Dr. Sage took my temperature and touched my head saying "there, there, that should be better." she then proceeded to stroke my hands and my feet gently with the Q-tips. "Dr. Sage," I asked, "what are those Q-tips going to do?" "Those are not Q-tips mommy, they are brushes to brush the yuckies out of your head!" "But, Sage, you aren't brushing my head with them, you are brushing my hands and feet." "Silly mommy, I know that, but this is where the yuckies are hiding." Then she took her handheld mirror, looked at me upside down and proclaimed "Ahhh all better!"
I am not going to say this exercise made my headache go away, but I have to admit it was a nice little distraction from the pain, and her gentle touch was comforting in its own way. I came away from it with a new appreciation for her imagination, her empathy for others, and her desire to be helpful. What a sweet little experience in an otherwise rough day!
Emily A. Filmore, Author
blog.withmychildseries.com
http://www.withmychildseries.com/
After she left, Sage and I sat together on the couch and vegged out because that is about all I was capable of doing. A little while later she disappeared upstairs for a few minutes and came back with 2 Q-tips, a temporal thermometer, and a hand held mirror. "What are you doing?" I asked. She replied, "I'm going to make your headache go away."
Intrigued, I let her work her magic. Dr. Sage took my temperature and touched my head saying "there, there, that should be better." she then proceeded to stroke my hands and my feet gently with the Q-tips. "Dr. Sage," I asked, "what are those Q-tips going to do?" "Those are not Q-tips mommy, they are brushes to brush the yuckies out of your head!" "But, Sage, you aren't brushing my head with them, you are brushing my hands and feet." "Silly mommy, I know that, but this is where the yuckies are hiding." Then she took her handheld mirror, looked at me upside down and proclaimed "Ahhh all better!"
I am not going to say this exercise made my headache go away, but I have to admit it was a nice little distraction from the pain, and her gentle touch was comforting in its own way. I came away from it with a new appreciation for her imagination, her empathy for others, and her desire to be helpful. What a sweet little experience in an otherwise rough day!
Emily A. Filmore, Author
blog.withmychildseries.com
http://www.withmychildseries.com/
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